We all need a sense of purpose in order to feel fulfilled, happy and joyful in life. When we’re in a relationship, one half of the equation is always impacted by the satisfaction and happiness of the other. If one person is satisfied with their life and the other one isn’t this will inevitably breed discontent in the marriage. Statistics show that 80% of all workers are dissatisfied with their work. What does this say about happiness joy fulfillment and satisfaction in committed relationships?
What is a Sense of Purpose?
Purpose by definition is a sense that we are meeting a specific need in the lives of others. This can show up as an area where we have special talents, skills, or innate abilities. They can show up as a problem we see in the world that we are addressing through our actions. It can show up as a personal need in others that we are helping to fill. Accomplishing something important for those we care for brings with it a sense of purpose. Living a purposeful life also involves utilizing as much of ourselves as possible in the process.
Make no mistake, all human beings have an innate need to feel of use, or purposeful. The evidence is in our constant seeking to organize and order the world. We seek to understand ourselves, others, and how we interact with all aspects of life. Our need to have purpose is grounded in the human desire to understand. If you question this, why is it that we live in such a goal-oriented society? What is the basis for our desire to win? To succeed? To have victory?.
Why Do We Find Fulfillment in Purpose?
It’s the utilization of all of who we are that leads to our sense of fulfillment. The more we use and develop our talents, the more accomplished that we feel. Turning our talents and abilities to make a difference leads to a sense of fulfillment and purpose. Using all of who we are is the most purposeful act of any human being. This is not only our skills and talents but also our cultural background. Our family of origins influences will have something to do here. Our experiences in life will contribute as well. We will transform our emotional liabilities into assets when living on purpose. This is the ultimate fulfillment when we really bring to bear all of who we are to make a change in the world.
What Happens When One Person is Dissatisfied?
When one person is unhappy or dissatisfied, everyone around them senses it. You can walk into workplaces where the whole office or workspace feels unhappy, ill at ease, and unfulfilled. You can walk into other spaces and feel the richness of creativity, interaction, and support. What happens when one person is unhappy in their life, and in a partnership at home?
Inevitably, the other partner is going to do everything they can to try and uplift this person. When that does not work, they will want to quit. In fact, marriages can sink and swim just on the basis of whether both partners have a sense of fulfillment and happiness.
What Is The Purpose of Marriage?
Marriage has the purpose that we assigned to it. Unconsciously, however, marriage has a primary purpose of the support and development of the individuals in the partnership. Marriage is a partnership! Mutual support is the basis of partnership. Partners have different strengths. They have shared values and life-vision. One of the roles of partnership on this level is supporting one another in your individual development, happiness, fulfillment, and joy. The other leg is nurturing the partnership itself.
What to Do When Your Partnership is Challenged
You may be facing challenges to your partnership right now. You’re not alone. 80% of the population is unhappy at work. Therefore, 80% of the marriages and partnerships are having the same kinds of problems as you are. You are not alone!
The best thing you can do for your partnership is to charge your own batteries first. This means looking out for your mind, body, and spirit or sense of connection to others. Charge your own batteries first. Then you can better help them with their burden. Explore with them what is it there and happy about? Can’t help them? Get some help, no sense in carrying the burden alone.
What to Do
If neither of you is certain about your sense of purpose or why you’re not feeling fulfilled again reaching out to others is the key. The mistakes so many Americans make in life is thinking that life is just about our clothes, home, cars, etc. The richness of life lies in our experience. The richness of life lies in relationships. Our relationship to ourselves, our relationship to one another, our relationship to the world. If you’re in an unsteady or uncertain place, reach out to us we have resources that can help you rediscover your sense of purpose and fulfillment both as individuals and as a couple!