Helping Families End The Fight

How to Communicate With Ex During Divorce

Communication breakdown is often at the root of divorce.

   People don’t communicate, or communicate in ways that the other person will not receive well, and there is breakdown. The divorce process only aggravates and heightens communication breakdown.. Emotions are high, blame is often on the front burner and there is a subtext of fear and frustration. How can you have effective communication with your co-parent during the divorce process given that your communication in the past is characterized by breakdown? Establishing boundaries is the first step to healing communication problems.

Establish Some Boundaries or Ground Rules

 Prevent upsetting situations and protect yourself, set ground rules.. Really think of them as boundaries; ground rules are agreed upon by both parties. We protect ourselves by individually setting a boundary.

  If you have children together, then you will always be in communication as long as you all live. This makes the need for safe and effective communication all the more important!

Limit Communication to One or Two Modalities

Set guidelines that determine the nature of this new relationship.  Keep a record of all conversations in writing. Stick to one thing- email, or a communication app. Do not use multiple vehicles and avoid immediate gratification communications like texting or Whats App. You want to be able to edit whatever you say and keep it as clean and simple as possible. Keep all communication limited to only what is necessary for the kids or legal matters. 

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