Parental Alienation is defined as when behaviors that one parent does hurt or damage the relationship between their child and the other parent. The chances are that we all know someone who has experienced this. There is a myth that badmouthing the other parent is something that women do during the divorce process. In fact, Parental alienation happens at a much higher rate to men and women than originally believed. The alienated parent suffers. Children suffer the most in parental alienation. Biol it down and parental alienation is child abuse
Myth: Women are The Alienators
There is a myth that badmouthing the other parent is something that women do during the divorce process. This belief is based on antiquated stereotypes about gender, work relationships, and how men and women manage emotions. Statistically, men initiate parental alienation more than 33% of the time in Canada and the US and 50% of the time in Australia. The jury is still out, so don’t assume that men are the primary victims. 13.4% of parents have reported experiencing alienation, making it a problem that is impacting fairly large segments of the population.
Gender Can Determine the “How”
Interestingly, men and women have different ways of alienating one another. Mothers tend to alienate the father Subjectively while fathers will alienate the mother objectively. What this means is that Mothers tend to enmesh their children, while fathers tend to build an objective case based on the behavior. One is not better than the other by the way. These are just different ways of attempting to coerce the emotions of children.
It’s the Children Who Suffer
Regardless, 100% of children suffer under these circumstances. Children suffer the most in parental alienation. One out of four children experiences the fallout of alienation and coercion. Children are caught in the middle any time there is open aggression between parents. Alienation impacts children of EVERY age. Being caught in the middle is the worst place for a child, even an adult child. In fact in many ways, the older the child, the more difficult it is for them to adjust.
Common symptoms of parental alienation seen in a child:
- Openly hostile towards the alienated parent.
- Takes sides- there’s a good and bad parent
- Participates in taking down the alienated parent by denigrating them.
- Buys the alienating parents’ beliefs and stories about the alienated parent regardless of how rational they are or are not.
- Badmouths the other parent to others.
- Is unambivalent and extreme in their rejection.
- Automatically siding with the alienating parent in any argument or conflict.
Conclusions
The end result of alienation is that the parent separated from their child physically and emotionally. There is a myth that badmouthing the other parent is something that women do during the divorce process. The alienated parent (Man or Woman) often experiences high levels of fear, anxiety which occurs in ion the context of divorce which already has split of many friends and their network of support.
Children suffer the most in parental alienation. Children are put in a position of having to choose a side- never a healthy place to be, and if and when they do, they are now cut off from a part of who they are. Not only do they start stonewalling the other parent, but they internalize that process as well. It may take years for them to resolve emotional issues that result from the alienation of a parent. The scars from this experience will last them a lifetime. That is why parental abuse is child abuse.