One of the most important (and most difficult) parts of any marriage is understanding how to keep the love alive, even after years or decades of relationship.
If you want to learn how to keep that flame alive and scorching, here are five easy steps you can start implementing today to make love feel juvenile again!
1- Right Or Happy?
Your lover may truly be making some egregious errors like leaving a dish in the sink or drinking directly out of the milk carton and you are right, those are punishable crimes in any household.
The question is, would you rather be right or happy?
Some battles are just not worth fighting and some people are super slow to change. It´s not about getting the “I was right!” medal when you can both get to the line together.
Part of being happy in any relationship lies in accepting the other person’s limitations (real or self-created) and learning to work with them in a way that does not breed frustration, anger, and resentment.
2- Accent the Positive
Along the same line of thought, let go of the negative thoughts and focus on the positive.
That person who burps and farts is the same one you fell in love with. While “falling in love” is a limited time offer (studies show the first love lasts about 2-3 years), the qualities that you focused on when you were both starry-eyed are still there!
Think about that person you fell in love with, what were their greatest strengths? The traits you really adored?
Recognize where they are today and focus on them. Build your partner up by focusing on what they do well, what it is you really love about them. Accent the positive.
3- Be a Team Player
Often, relationships turn into competitions, comparing their worst to our best.
In difficult times, it is easy to fall back on building ourselves up at the expense of our love. Especially when you are spending soooo much time together : ).
Teams are built on uplifting one another and playing to each other’s strengths. Make a list of both of your individual strengths (yes there are more than enough for a list) and start playing to each other’s strong sides.
Say and repeat “I am on your side!“
This may be hard if you are in a bad moment for your relationship, so you may need to consider hiring a therapist for your relationship. Jump on a free discovery call with me and I´ll give you fresh next steps for you to thrive in love!
4- Laugh Together
Partners help each other unload and lighten up, schedule comedy night together where you watch a funny movie or a comedian. Laughter is not only good for the soul, it’s good for your health.
Laughter
- Boosts immunity
- Lowers stress hormones
- Decreases pain Relaxes your muscles
- Prevents heart disease
- Eases anxiety and tension
- Relieves stress
- Improves mood
- Strengthens resilience
Social benefits:
- Strengthens relationships
- Attracts others to us
- Enhances teamwork
- Helps defuse conflict
- Promotes group bonding
5- Dance Together
Dancing together is fun, energizing it can be romantic, silly, whatever you want to bring to it. More important, dancing encourages you to focus on each other, to get in sync, to enjoy shared rhythms.
Go get some tango classes!
And remember, if none of these work to revive that flame, just jump on a free discovery call with me and I´ll give you next steps on how to improve your relationship!