It’s no secret that navigating married life between a man and a woman is never easy. After all, marriage is a journey full of ups and downs, and it can be hard to keep the flame alive as time passes.
For this reason, one often goes above and beyond to satisfy the other, usually the man. This also gave rise to the phrase “happy wife, happy life.”
While the phrase may seem affectionate and romantic at first, it’s considered sexist because it places the burden of a happy marriage solely on the man.
Conversely, it also burdens the woman because she could be pressured to be happy and cheerful 24/7, which doesn’t always reflect reality since relationships are complex.
Beyond that, there are also other reasons why the phrase should die a slow, painful death, such as:
#1 – Pressures One or Both Parties
Happy marriages are certainly grounded in showing affection and showing affection leads to pleasing our partner.
This, however, is easier said than done because it’s not always possible to make your partner happy, no matter how hard you try.
For instance, you can’t control their emotions and how they react to a situation. In this context, the “happy wife, happy life” mindset puts unnecessary pressure on both parties to be happy and pleasant, which is no way to live.
#2 – Makes One Party Feel Responsible for the Other’s Happiness
The phrase also makes one party feel responsible for the other’s happiness, which is not the case. While making your partner happy is essential, you shouldn’t feel like you must make them happy all the time. This is because they are responsible for their happiness, and you can’t control how they feel.
#3 – The Man Becomes Blind to His Own Needs
The phrase “happy wife, happy life” is often used to describe the man’s role in the relationship. While a man needs to make his wife happy, he shouldn’t do so at the expense of his own happiness.
For instance, if he’s always putting his wife’s needs ahead of his own, he will feel resentful and dissatisfied.
#4 – It’s Not a Guarantee for a Happy Marriage
There’s no absolute definition of a happy marriage because every couple has different needs and expectations.
Just because a man is willing to sacrifice his own needs for his wife’s doesn’t mean that their relationship will be free of conflict or will never have disagreements.
Let’s face it, what the man is really doing is avoiding conflict. Relationships that don’t embrace the resolution of differences die a slow and painful death.
It’s important to remember that even the happiest marriages take work and require both partners to be committed to making things work.
#5 – Couple Dynamics Become Complicated
A married couple’s dynamics often change, but if the relationship revolves around a “happy wife, happy life” dynamic, the husband can quickly become resentful.
It’s essential to keep the relationship balanced and ensure that both partners feel like they’re being heard and respected. If one person feels they’re being put last, it can create tension and conflict.
#6 – Maintaining a Happy Marriage
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to what makes a happy marriage.
However, there are some steps couples can take to improve their relationship and build a strong foundation for a better future, such as:
a – Communicate Openly
One of the most important things you can do for your marriage is to communicate openly with your partner.
Talk about your needs and expectations, and be willing to listen to your partner’s point of view. It’s also important to be honest about your feelings, even if they’re negative.
If you’re feeling resentful or unhappy, tell your partner why.
b – Be Willing to Compromise
In any relationship, there will be times when you have to compromise. If you’re both willing to give and take, it can help to prevent arguments and keep the peace.
c – Spend Time Together
You must always make time for your partner, even if you’re both busy. Whether going on a date night or just spending time at home together, quality time is crucial for a happy marriage.
d – Be Supportive
A happy marriage requires both partners to be supportive of each other. If your partner is going through a tough time, be there for them. If they’re dealing with a problem at work, offer your help and advice.
e – Be Patient
It’s normal for marriages to go through ups and downs. If you’re going through a tough patch, you must be patient and remember that things will eventually improve. After all, this is the point of “for better, for worse” uttered when you exchange marriage vows.
So… What With The Happy Wife?
Just because the wife should be happy in her marriage doesn’t mean the husband shouldn’t also be. Since married couples should be a team, both husband and wife should work together to ensure their marriage is happy.
Ultimately, what matters is that both of them are happy.
Rich In Relationship provides top-quality services far above and beyond couples counseling.
We understand that relationships are complex and delicate, so we take an individualized approach in a safe and supportive environment for couples to resolve their issues.
Simply schedule a call!